party

this is that night again. i want to leave. i want to beat a hole in the ground and die in it. i want to use drugs to drown out my reality. all i want to do is talk but i dont have a fucking words to say. i dont have one fucking word to say. i want to make your pain go away but mine shuts me down. i hate myself for it. ive said it a million times before im useless, useless, i am so fucking useless.. shame shame shame shame on me. im so sick of this stupid fucking pity party i throw. i need to get over myself. i need to stop this stupid shit. god damnit.