the mister and mister sisters experience band

when im smoking alone a cigarette just seems so long.
when i smoke with a friends i just can't seem to wait for theirs to be done.

oh bother

ah, what to do with these literary gems
while to tired or high to reach for a pen?

i've got five on it.

"when will 'my country' die for me?"
no one has ever died for me.
no soldiers.
"when will 'my country' die for me?"
no one has ever died.
no saviors.

i don't give a shit,
my home is where i am,
you can take your worthless papers and set them on fire.
i don't fucking care
just who you think you are,
we have never met and,
i am. i am god, i am thee.

we found a witch, may we burn her? 6.66

your a patriot. your a sucker. you're a god fearing motherfucker. nine to five. strong on your side. cashing 'hella checks' keeps you feeling alive. who draws these shifting lines we are sold to bow down to? you're secure in your numbers. we're secure in your clock. rejoice, oh rejoice in our heresy. so praise your god part the sea. look the other way while you pray for me. do you think god can smell the cigarettes as he slowly kissing my neck? in this crusade we will die too. eat skin and piss with all parts in between. collect in excess the things that we need. no mater how much we know. no mater how much we know. ah shit, it doesnt matter. it'll never matter. i cannot understand how you cant see through this. i cannot understand. i'll never understand. no time. no option. no escape form your war. we are debts on your fathers. with our faces on the floor. in this fleeting present. i can see through this. uniforms, a disguise. fuck your flag. it's what were told. it's what we know. it's what we believe so. praise your gods and part the sea. i'll tell you what dont even pray for me. eat skin and piss and all parts in between. success, success is everything. in this crusade we will die too. rejoice oh rejoice in our heresy. oh well. oh well.

guerre, it's всюду

how can war be an option?
how can you sign up to kill?
who draws these shifting lines
we are sold to bow down to?
you're secure in your numbers.
we're secure in your clock.
maybe this is hell?
maybe god did exist?
if he ones was here
his presents will be missed.
but i could only wish for hell.
this is the cast i was born into.
ah shit.
no time.
no option.
no escape form your war.
we are debts on your fathers
with our faces on the floor.
in this fleeting present
i can see through their lies.
uniforms,
a disguise.
fuck your flag
and and everything that you know.
you resort to violence.
why is violence ever in need?
it's what were told.
it's what we know.
it's what we believe.
i don't know what to do.
i hate everything.
and i just don't get its;
it's so fucking easy to see though.
shit.

being all you can be?

There is no peace in war,
nor is it a logical means.
It is interests and profits
that you sign up to kill and die for.

we found a witch, may we burn her?

all we are is politics
dumbshits and their presidents
stories of gods and money, leaders and lies
no matter how much we know
theres no where for us to go
save the witches
do think that god can smell the cigarettes
as he as slowly kisses my neck
eat skin and piss and all parts in between
praise your god and part the sea
its my decision if i want to live anymore
i could spread my brain
all over this floor
save the witches
in this crusade we will die too

money in the bank

i eat poison
to change the colors,
to pass the time;
which doesn't exist
it makes me feel so meaningless,
humyn,
dead,
alive.

towers fall?

"progressive talk radio" = "(D) bigot"
if this radio was progressive they wouldn't use slurs like 'retard' when talking about republicans, or anyone, or ever.
show your true colors.

you'll say retard.. why dont you say faggot?

if you say faggot why not say nigger?

"you bigots.."

sense

i wish my brain would lose its sense of touch.
maybe then i wouldn't five a fuck.
you cant love what you cant feel.

What plagues us.

The hardest part of the last five, or so, years has been the changing of my beliefs as i grow up. When you find out there are no magic characters giving you presents in the middle of the night it's hard to know what is real and what is a lie form your parents. That feeling of not knowing what is a lie and what is 'real' never goes away I guess. when I was fifteen i questioned god. when i was eighteen i had no faith in any god or religion. am i a shitty person.. a sellout?
my mom always told me to follow thoughts all the way though. what i mean is, we cant let our thoughts, or beliefs, rather, be surface level. anyway i applied this idea to all of my beliefs and realized i didn't really have a strong connection to a lot of things, including straight edge. when i was younger.. probably fifteen of sixteen, i was always in trouble. no shit, i was always fucking grounded. anyway one day i got sick of being in trouble with my parents so i made a decision to 'just be good.' i told my cousin nate about it and when i told him i was done smoking, drinking, and taking drugs he told me 'oh, so your straight edge.' that was how it all began. it was a nice ride too. it probably kept me out of trouble and focused on school.. haha yeah right, but i do believe it was a very important part of my life and good for me. well, years later i was thinking sxe all the way through and sort of realized i didn't have a passion for it anymore.. i didn't really care at all. i made the decision i was gonna drop the title and move on with life. i lost a lot of friends..

im breathing in deeper. your still listening. i can hear you breathing on the other end of the line. im breathing in deeper. your still listening. i can hear you breathing on the other side of the wall. you cant stand the shit that rolls off my tongue. you shit on your friends and you fuck, fuck, everyone. im not edge, ive grown up a bit. its a little different but who gives a shit? why are you looking? why would anyone care? why are you looking? why? who are you? shit who am i? you think your jesus fucking christ. shit who am i? breathing in deeper. your still listening. the floor is fucking moving and im still not fitting in. maybe it was something more. ill burry my head to forget all of this shit.

coming down has proven hard from chairs stacked high but i'm not looking very far. we're both so quick to look down form our stack, but we'll never ever see the shit thats on our own back. save your breath don't waste it on me. shit, look around we're all you'll see. we'll send each other to hell till theres nothing left. its the same smoke that fills both of our chests. i breath in deep. i close my eyes. i want to find two nine six five. i want to be dreaming. dreams dont hold regret. regret is holding me. ill never open my eyes again i never want to see. i want to be deaming of home.

often, i think, 'if i didn't add the label to not drinking i might not of lost those friends.' labels are a weird thing like that. i think the straight edge label is an extraordinarily powerful one. if you are edge you get to say, 'fuck all every one who drinks!' ha it's a power i do not understand. one, why do straight edge bands have the golden pass to talk shit about anyone who drinks or smokes or whatever? two, why would they want to? i, now, think straight edge can be as harmful as some one consuming drugs or alcohol. bottom line neither matter and i think we should work together. we are all humyns and need to remember it. we need to follow thoughts all the way through. learning and growing should not be condemned. i followed my dislike for marijuana all the way through and realized i didn't have anything solid to base hate on (p.s. you should look into the prohibition of marijuana. the documentaries "grass," "the union" and "high" are all a good watch and have great information). i'm my mind its amazing that i learned and grew.. in some poison free minds i sold out. whatever though i guess. they can choose to throw me aside based on a positive decision. we are all trying our best.

asshole

haha god bless these two pageant winners

life after..

well, i didn't get married.

zine no.3

let me know if you want one.

i want to be home.

i am a number with a dollar value attached to it 43.4 hours of the week. fuck i hate this shit.

fingers crossed and the lights off.

remembering dreams fucking sucks. things are about to get back on track.. until then its voicemail and drugs. shit i cant wait for summer and the road.

help!

january sixteenth

i left denver one year ago today to come up north.

reflection.

we have one real choice. we choose to live or die. so often we feel pressures of 'life'. what will you do? who will you be? what have you done today? grown men and women live in fear of what they will make of themselves. we cry in fear wishing only children would be our judges. we work our whole lives for numbers.. numbers that have no meaning. weight and money are numbers in an account or on a scale, that is all. numbers have no meaning. we base our lives on these numerical values and not values of the soul. numbers are a waste of thought when everything can be boiled down to one question. we choose life as we are breathing and reading. we ought not be distracted or discouraged by shit that we put in our way. feelings are all that is real. feelings, whether by fear, love, or drugs are what our reality is made up of. we waste our lives with time, distance, numbers, and judges. life is what we feel. we are nothing more than our thoughts and feelings. living for those is just.

you've said it. i've said it.

coming down has proven hard.. from chairs stacked high but i'm not looking very far. we're both so quick to look down form our stack, but we'll never ever see the shit thats on our own back. save your breath don't waste it on me. look to your left more of the same is all you'll see. were no better than the rest. its the same smoke that lies in both of our chests. i breath in deep. i close my eyes. i just want to find two nine six five.

*we are all fuck ups. no one has any right to be a dick to some one because they don't agree with the mistakes they are making. we all get bored, we all get tired, we all get angry, we all get lonely, we all get angsty, we are all looking for something, we are all trying to find ourselves, we all want to know where to go and what to do. we all go about filling our voids in different ways. i wish we all [including me] could not be dicks about the way our loved ones deal with what we are all are going through.

**this is not about anyone one, two, or three people so don't be a dork and get pissed off haha