zine no.3

let me know if you want one.

you've said it. i've said it.

coming down has proven hard.. from chairs stacked high but i'm not looking very far. we're both so quick to look down form our stack, but we'll never ever see the shit thats on our own back. save your breath don't waste it on me. look to your left more of the same is all you'll see. were no better than the rest. its the same smoke that lies in both of our chests. i breath in deep. i close my eyes. i just want to find two nine six five.

*we are all fuck ups. no one has any right to be a dick to some one because they don't agree with the mistakes they are making. we all get bored, we all get tired, we all get angry, we all get lonely, we all get angsty, we are all looking for something, we are all trying to find ourselves, we all want to know where to go and what to do. we all go about filling our voids in different ways. i wish we all [including me] could not be dicks about the way our loved ones deal with what we are all are going through.

**this is not about anyone one, two, or three people so don't be a dork and get pissed off haha

awkward april

eighteen months and sixteen days hating the words that you say. you wont let up over and out. i hate your tone and what you talk about. its been over a year with no letting up. i just wish you gave a fuck. i wont shit up im gonna shout. youre gonna heat what i think now. the word desperate comes to mind. your selfishness and all my time. one million thoughts in just seconds. empty pages a clear mind. ill be so god damned fucking loud and when i look back at the end of the day im hating every single word that you say. eighteen months and now seventeen days. this wont go away. eighteen months and now eighteen days. this wont go away. eighteen months and now nineteen days. eighteen months and now twenty fucking days. cleaver gestures and well thought out replies. i havent been home sense twenty nine sixty five. we are so fucked up. we are so fucked up. we are so fucked up. we are so fucked up. so god damn fucked up.you made us this way bitter and jealous at the age of nineteen. you used us now we use them. we are so fucked up. theres a pressure on my chest and a knot in my throat all of the time. we are so fucked up. so god damn fucked up. fucked up.

mmm so nice

i'm in so so much trouble. so so so worth it. i am 15 at 2965. summer is coming winter is on my heals. i wish i could excuse or hide this smile for just a second but there's no hiding how good this feels. where did this come from? i am 15 at 2965; its a feeling i can't describe.