DONE!!

doc.111 is finished! thanks D Wreck and everyone that helped us out and or sang on the record. this was the most fun i have ever ad recording. thank you.

zine no.3

let me know if you want one.

mass nerder

holly shit. i feel like nine times out of ten when we go to a show nine out of ten kids are full of shit. i fucking love that The Descendents wrote this song.

Don't got no goatee
Don't got no tattoo
Don't got no nose ring
Don't wanna be like you

Check out these glasses
So I'll never be cool
Always get my assed kick
When I get to school

Don't worry about image
Don't got no attitude
I know I won't get laid
If I wont be like you!

Don't got no biceps
Don't got no pecks
But I'll read you under the table
With my thick specks

See I got these glasses
So they kick my ass
But I'll kick their asses
When I get to class

I got these glasses
So I can't wear shades
I'll kick their asses
I'll get good grades

Gonna kick their asses in class
Gonna kick their asses in class
Gonna kick their asses in class
Gonna get good grades!

I can't get rid of the times
Can't stop the party line
Don't know what the scenes about
Don't tell me to mellow out!

Don't got no goatee
No fucking safety pin
No I ain't no junkee
Don't got no heroin

Don't got no styling lotion
Don't wanna live by the ocean
Just wanna be myself
All you poseurs go to hell!

Gonna kick their asses in class
Gonna kick their asses in class
Gonna kick their asses in class
Gonna get good grades!

Asses in class
Asses in class
Asses in class

Asses in class
Asses in class
Asses in class

Asses in class
Asses in class
Asses in class

We must read
We must read
We must read
We must read
RRRREEEEAAAADDDD!

Somebody get me a book!

holy shit i guess im home?

tewnty nine sixty five with you and somewhere on i five. i want to be home. i want to have a home. a few more months and i will have a real home again.. two homes. we will go out again and we will begin the rest of our lives. i guess at this point im taking baby steps to where i want to be. i just fucking hate when the steps arent big enough.. when i feel too far away i hear someone say my name. i feel someone following me. fuck fuck. how can i rely on stabuility. right now at this second i have one thing but shes seven hours away and working. god damn it. i will be fine i just need to stick it out.. thats what she said.

zine no.2

i made a few zines so hit me up if you want one. also i just recorded 99 problems. its on my purevolume.

'why are we here?'

the first hardcore show i saw in denver was killing kings rebuild and some other local denver bands at sox place. i dont remember much about that show aside from loving rebuild and ever sense answering, "the music and the message," every time someone would ask "why are you here." it was a line form a killing kings son that i got stuck in my head and repeated every chance i got.. you know me you get how bad i am about that haha. i never thought much about a music in hardcore.. all i saw was dudes that were hard as fuck. on the surface hardcore was gigantic dudes 'dancing' super hard when a breakdown would kick and other mammoth dudes running back and forth across the 'pit' into my face the rest of the time. bands i saw would sing about 'repping their streets' and fighting everyone. i swear to go i heard, "step it up you faggot pussies! rep your scene!" seventeen times a band every show. being hard was happenin'! quickly i began hardcore bands in a larger spectrum. everyonw and then i would hear a line in a song or hear the singer of a band say something that would make me think. i liked it. i started getting off on people or bands challenging me to think and question. i had heard some of it before from listening to punk rock for years but was too young to care at that point. i was hearing people talk about about things my parents and authoritative figures wouldnt tell me if they knew. reluctant to change my thinking or give another way of thinking a shot i began to look at some of these issues and ideas. i thought if people felt strongly enough to dump all their money into being able to scream their throat raw every night it was worth a look. these people began to push me to examine many areas of my life and challenged me too look for my own things to care enough about to look into. the words "the music and the message," made so much more sense to me now.. man thats hella corny but its true. i learned that punk rock and hardcore arent for main stream people.. but for people looking for something more and that could see through all the shit. these people arent scared to challenge anyones thoughts or come up with their own. punk rock and hardcore is one of the places kids can turn when they decide they dont want to live the drone lives they are told to. we dont give a fuck about mtv, the oc, what fox news or cnn are telling us. without that vial we can look at things in a different light.. or as they really are.
lets side step for a second. on tv, on the radio, on the street, and where we eat we are told what to be, how to look, what to say. all fucking day people are shoving shit down our throats! .. fuck bitches in the club, wear these clothes, eat fast food, consume, consume, consume, believer whatever any authority figure tells you and most importantly DONT ASK QUESTIONS. fuck all that shit right?
okay, half a step back to where we were. we are punk and hardcore we are better than all that consumer shit, right? we dont need all that garbage.. we dont want it, right?
anyway, the more i became familiar with hardcore the more i saw all this awesome shit that made me think and work harder and educate myself. i wanted more. i dove deeper and deeper and became fairly surrounded with it. i would have never guessed what i found.. did you guess it? haha i began to see the shit we so boastfully talk so much shit about hating. i got the vibe there were kids who hated mtv and the government because they were told to. the ideals of punk and hardcore became a fucking fashion. turns out there are standards and hierarchy.. and fuck bitches and get paid was there too. we need 'croosh' clothes too! you better get some banging swag if you want to move up in calss.. without that fresh gear you wont get any respect. "your not into vinyl.. what a dork." god damn it became hard for me to keep all the shit i was supposed to be doing straight haha. i saw people 'dancing' super hard not because they were oumped but because thats what you are supposed to do. oh shit, and they would make fun of other kids cause they didnt have 'tight moves!' and christ the fucking politics! people seem, too often, to forget that we are a community not a fucking class war. we 'hate' establishment but we build our own. we fuck away our self respect and whore ourselves for 'status' in the 'scene.'
fuck all this consumer driven shit! fuck having to fit a mold! fuck this mini version of the mainstream! i sometimes find it easy to get wrapped up in being pissed at all of this hypocrisy. i hate the lack of heart, the consumption as opposed to support the profit, the hierarchy, the bullshit, blah blah blah.. but every now and then someone rolls around and renews my faith in what we have. i find people to remind me to get out of my own ass and cool it cause there are people who (you guessed it) give a shit about (oh man cue the triumphant music and cheesy lines) the music and the message. haha. i cant tell you how much it means to me to find these people. kids that work hard to put on shows out of their love for punk rock and hardcore not for recognition. kids that work toward building a community. kids that push others to learn and question. kids that dont give a fuck and see through the stupid dumbshit politics and everything else. i truly feel that the punk rock and hardcore community is incredibly important. the worlds bullshit doesnt have a foothold here. this is one of the few places that people dont listen to whatever they are told. if punk and hardcore loses its sense of community, lack of conspicuous consumption, caring, and fearlessness of authority there will be less people to fight against these things and spread a knowledge of them and encouragement to ask questions. it scares the shit out of me to think that something so so important could be lost to nikes and bullshit. i do, however, have faith that we are strong and have enough people that give a shit to remain strong. i know that its is something worth holding onto.
dont get me wrong in all of this i dotn think im the shit by any means haha.
i also dont think that all songs should be about social change.. i love hangout songs! i just just feel we have something important and it needs to remain.

more than behold night!

for real, tonight was amazing. BEHOLD BEHOLD BEHOLD. i fucking love these guys so fucking much. i can not tell you how much it means that i have these guys in my life. not only that they make the best music ever. go listen to them right now. not only were those dudes here but we got to hang out with rheah again. man i love that girl! that was the good part about tonight the second best thing about tonight is sense the behold guys were here we decided to call some kids and play in our basement. this was by far the funnest show ever! lucas drilled my head with his bass though and kinda broke it open. ha oh well it was amazing. i wish ashley was here real bad. anyay im gonna try to sleep again. be good and thanks to everyone in my life.

this is

us at rays

weare the botton

look ant see. look to youreself and look to me. care thats all i ask. im screaming and my throat is wearing thin. was there nothing that you could do. at what what point would you say that you didnt care about the words that fell from between your teeth that made it harder for us to breath. how does it feel knowing this town shall perish and its gonna be because of you. you didnt light the match but you alone constructed the fuse. i hope your happy cause everyone is looking at you.

i hate the smiths.

names fall from your mouth like rain on the coast. names and labels. youll come pretty close but you wont find shit not here. you can talk talk talk with your finger tips. hold your breath that you wont get caught. you wouldnt want that here. turn up the lights forget our names were all just kids. theres no one here. cross your legs and close your mouth we dont care who youve fucked. theres no one here. drop your names and expose yourself. your you fucking die for this. theres no one here. turn up the lights turn up the lighs we want to see how cool you are. theres no one here. sing one song for the rest of your life one that you dont really like one that you dont understand. by this you breath and die. names and labels.

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