13.12.07

"know everything about?"

this is not something there is a right answer to. i know it is not the same for everyone. do not tell me that i am not right.. you just do not understand. "no i can't explain this to you because its different for everyone.." this is something i spend hours a day thinking and asking about. this is not a thoughtless conclusion not one lead by the blindness of fallible man. this is something i strive to understand and feel in my twenty years i feel i have done quite well in at least trying. i have done well but it is, however, much different than most. does this make it wrong? if you think this to be so, ponder what gives you that right. further consider why you would know more than i.. can you say that you do? further still if you were to have yourself figured out would you then in-turn have me pegged as well? i am strong and work hard but usually take different steps getting to the same place you do. this is me. leave it alone.

13.9.07

.XI

i have spent so many nights and sleepless days wanting to meet my maker.. with fingers crossed and the lights off. i find myself so many days trying to find myself behind all the shit you have set out in front of me. i don't recognize my own face. i'm sinking my own shit. i hope i'm ready to go down. these pictures feel so much like mirrors i would love to break. i've spent so many days trying to find somewhere to go, but nope. it is not yet my time. i want to run and hide because this night wont end and all i want is to sleep. when i sleep i cant be scared and i know that i cant be seen. i was created and i can be destroyed.. i just hope this time will come soon.